Two Boats

I feel I must mention something that has been troubling me since last night. Well I won't go into detail but on my 22nd birthday I did some pretty unbuddhist things. Which got me thinking about Buddhism and what it means to me. I know that no matter what I do I will always follow the Dharma. But all this things that cultivate negative karma, and in turn cultivate negative thoughts and actions I know that I shouldn't do these things, but do anyway, but why? I really want to bring about spiritual change within myself and I can only do that through meditation and being focused spiritually. But it's hard when the temptations of the world are so close and so easy to fall back on. This is troubling to me. I suppose the answer is that I am on two boats and I feel that they are slipping away from me and eventually I must choose one. It's only hard at 22. So I will continue prostrations.